Do these things REALLY get people to respond?

Ticket-scalper

I got the following message in email today. I instantly thought “Wow! He wants ME to represent him in a case!!! I’m thrilled and honored, especially since I don’t even have a law degree…” I’m sure that Mr. Hing Yee has an important problem that he needs solved, but seriously, couldn’t he have done his homework? I know a few people who live under a local bridge would would be just as good at handling the case…

Here’s exactly what Mr. Hing Yee wrote:
—–
Begin forwarded message:

> From: HING YEE
> Date: November 9, 2010 8:39:17 AM PST
> Subject: REQUEST FOR REPRESENTATION00
> Reply-To: hingyee22@w.cn
>> Hello Attorney,
>> This is a request for your possible represenatation in a breach of `contract matter. I’m Hing Yee of UNI IND (HK) LTD I like to know if your schedule will permit you to handle a case of breach of contract between us and a customer in your jurisdiction. If there are processes new clients are meant to go through before a case is accepted please advice, or if you accept case base on referral I would want to know also.
>>>> It is important we hear from you as soon as possible so we can decide on what to do. If you have any questions or concern do not hesitate to contact me by email: hingyee1@hotmail.com
>>>
> Yours Truly,
>>> Mr Hing Yee
> Unit 5, 12/F; Blk B,> Lux Theatre Bldg;> 2-20 Ming On St; Hung Hom,> Kowloon, Hong Kong

—–

Or MAYBE I should put him in touch with Miss Patience Tatari, the 24 year old from Port-Au-Prince in Haiti who also contacted me this morning. It appears that she has come into some money and I’m sure the two could work out an arrangement where Mr. Hing Yee helps Miss Patience in return for some money for legal representation. —–

“Dearest One,
Please permit me to introduce myself further to you for a better understanding as Miss Patience Tatari (24) old i am from Port-Au-Prince the capital of Haiti and I would like you to guide me through the most viable investment opportunities in your Country.
Alternatively, I can invest in your line of business perhaps if it’s viable. I am one of the only two Kids of Mr.Jihad Benny Tatari from Haiti who died in the earthquake that struck my country on January 12 2010 but thank God i am alive today,and currently residing as a refugee in Dakar Senegal.
I have been in this country since last 02.02.2010 because the senegal’s president offered free land and “repatriation” to people affected by the earthquake in Haiti. President Abdoulaye Wade said Haitians were sons and daughters of Africa since Haiti was founded by slaves, including some thought to be from Senegal.
Meanwhile,i want to invest the funds deposit by my late father in your country with your help and advice, because i am being treated as a foreigner here and never cared for because many consider me to be an orphan,and for this reason,i am honestly seeking your passionate understanding to assist me in the very good way of investing this money .

My late father of blessed memory deposited the sum of (£2.9 Million) (Two Million Nine Hundred Thousand Pounds Sterling) in one of the leading Banks with my name as the next of kin. However, I shall forward you the contact information of the bank for you to contact them and assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund.As you will help me in an investment, and i will like to complete my studies under you, as i was in my 1st year in the university in my country before the earthquake strikes.
I will be expecting you to send me a complete breakdown of the investment opportunities in your country and also to let me know what exactly i should have to do to enable you and I,invest this fund correctly in a proper form of good business investment in your country.
My gladness will be your acceptance to act as a proximity in search of a profitable business investment / venture where this fund will be invested in.
I will come over to your country after the transfer is perfected in your bank account to see the possibilities of legalizing all the necessary formalities that will enhance the success of this coming together,and to work out the investment plans and modalities with you in one good condition.
My Regards with love and God Bless
Miss Patience. ”
—–

Ticket_scalper

It’s kind of like those guys outside the ballpark asking for tickets…when another guy is standing 10 feet away looking to sell tickets. If only they would notice one another…both their problems would be solved.

 

Oh, and who hasn’t dreamed of “acting as a proximity in search of a profitable business investment/venture”.  I know I have since I was 6.

Bill Lapcevic
VP Business Development
+1 650 954 9692

( ( •)) New Relic
blogs.newrelic.com
Twitter: NewRelic
Twitter: billlap

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